Post by Audio Pineapple on Feb 15, 2007 21:10:07 GMT 1
Chapter One
The air felt cold, sitting on the couch, hearing the television blaring, left on a channel he couldn’t even remember switching to.
“Bambi… are you okay?”
He wanted to admit that he wasn’t, wanted to say that he needed her to give him hugs and pats on the back and tell him that everything was going to be okay but one look at her and he could see that she needed help as well. Her eyes were burnt red, the mascara settled in rings underneath her bottom lashes and she was shaking, she had been since she had crashed into his apartment to tell him the news he hadn’t ever expected to hear. Doctor Cox was dead, he couldn’t even remember how, the moment he was told he had sunk to the couch, his head filled with white noise. Her question had brought him out of his case but he knew he couldn’t tell the truth.
“I’m fine Carla.”
“Are you sure” She rubbed the back of a hand against her eyes, “I know you two were close.”
“I’m sure,” she smiled weakly and he felt a slimy feeling spreading in the pit of his stomach, something he had thought before but always brushed off as paranoia. They hadn’t been that close, they hadn’t been close at all.
“Okay, I need to get back to the hospital, my shift isn’t over.”
“I’ll come to.”
“JD you don’t need to.”
“I want to be there for you, you look like you could use a friend.”
“Thanks,” she stood up, leaving the room and he followed her, thinking about how he was lying. He wasn’t going to the hospital for her; he was going because it was the only place where he felt safe. When anything bad would happen he could always count on Turk and Elliot and Cox to bring him out of it…
He paused, realising what he had thought, realising that he was expecting help that wasn’t there and would never be there again. There would be no more messed up pep talks, no hidden lessons, no screaming tirades and no more girls’ names. He wouldn’t have any of them anymore, “I wonder if the janitor will do it.”
“Do what?”
“Oh nothing; I was just thinking about how Doctor Cox used to call me girl names…” he trailed off, the look on her face clearly informing him that it was not the right thing to be focusing on.
The ride to the hospital seemed to bring back the white noise; it started to creep in, dissipating when he caught sight of the familiar building. He walked in, closely trailing Carla who was immediately enveloped by Turk, pale tears starting to glisten in her eyes again. He saw Turk lower his head, whispering to her.
“How’d he take it?”
“He seems fine.”
Turk looked up at him, unwrapping one of his arms from Carla’s body to extent it to him in sympathetic greeting, “how are you man?”
JD scoffed, “me? I’m doing great buddy! Never better,” at Turk’s raised eyebrow he tried to tone down both the pitch and speed of his voice, make himself sound more believable, “well, obviously I’ve been better but it’s alright. How’re you?”
Turk nodded, positioning the arm back around Carla’s stomach, obviously pleased to have been asked, “I’m alright, I wasn’t that close to Cox…”
“Doctor.”
”What?”
He faltered, unsure what to say because he wasn’t sure why he had responded in the first place. It was just that the thought had popped into his head that he’d always preferred to be called Doctor Cox rather than just Cox but he couldn’t explain to Turk how it felt like he was dishonouring his memory. “It’s nothing.”
“Okay, well I need to get going so if there’s anything you need?”
“Yeah,” He watched as Carla and Turk left, looking around the hospital and sighing, knowing that nothing was going to be the same again.
The air felt cold, sitting on the couch, hearing the television blaring, left on a channel he couldn’t even remember switching to.
“Bambi… are you okay?”
He wanted to admit that he wasn’t, wanted to say that he needed her to give him hugs and pats on the back and tell him that everything was going to be okay but one look at her and he could see that she needed help as well. Her eyes were burnt red, the mascara settled in rings underneath her bottom lashes and she was shaking, she had been since she had crashed into his apartment to tell him the news he hadn’t ever expected to hear. Doctor Cox was dead, he couldn’t even remember how, the moment he was told he had sunk to the couch, his head filled with white noise. Her question had brought him out of his case but he knew he couldn’t tell the truth.
“I’m fine Carla.”
“Are you sure” She rubbed the back of a hand against her eyes, “I know you two were close.”
“I’m sure,” she smiled weakly and he felt a slimy feeling spreading in the pit of his stomach, something he had thought before but always brushed off as paranoia. They hadn’t been that close, they hadn’t been close at all.
“Okay, I need to get back to the hospital, my shift isn’t over.”
“I’ll come to.”
“JD you don’t need to.”
“I want to be there for you, you look like you could use a friend.”
“Thanks,” she stood up, leaving the room and he followed her, thinking about how he was lying. He wasn’t going to the hospital for her; he was going because it was the only place where he felt safe. When anything bad would happen he could always count on Turk and Elliot and Cox to bring him out of it…
He paused, realising what he had thought, realising that he was expecting help that wasn’t there and would never be there again. There would be no more messed up pep talks, no hidden lessons, no screaming tirades and no more girls’ names. He wouldn’t have any of them anymore, “I wonder if the janitor will do it.”
“Do what?”
“Oh nothing; I was just thinking about how Doctor Cox used to call me girl names…” he trailed off, the look on her face clearly informing him that it was not the right thing to be focusing on.
The ride to the hospital seemed to bring back the white noise; it started to creep in, dissipating when he caught sight of the familiar building. He walked in, closely trailing Carla who was immediately enveloped by Turk, pale tears starting to glisten in her eyes again. He saw Turk lower his head, whispering to her.
“How’d he take it?”
“He seems fine.”
Turk looked up at him, unwrapping one of his arms from Carla’s body to extent it to him in sympathetic greeting, “how are you man?”
JD scoffed, “me? I’m doing great buddy! Never better,” at Turk’s raised eyebrow he tried to tone down both the pitch and speed of his voice, make himself sound more believable, “well, obviously I’ve been better but it’s alright. How’re you?”
Turk nodded, positioning the arm back around Carla’s stomach, obviously pleased to have been asked, “I’m alright, I wasn’t that close to Cox…”
“Doctor.”
”What?”
He faltered, unsure what to say because he wasn’t sure why he had responded in the first place. It was just that the thought had popped into his head that he’d always preferred to be called Doctor Cox rather than just Cox but he couldn’t explain to Turk how it felt like he was dishonouring his memory. “It’s nothing.”
“Okay, well I need to get going so if there’s anything you need?”
“Yeah,” He watched as Carla and Turk left, looking around the hospital and sighing, knowing that nothing was going to be the same again.
